Merge pull request #48 from ctrlaltdavid/intro-review

Some revisions to the "Introduction" section of the user docs

Author: robinkwilson

docs/intro-avatars.md

@@ -13,14 +13,14 @@ Depending on how involved you'd like to get in the avatar creation process, you
 
 The most straightforward way to customize an avatar for Hubs is to upload a custom texture on one of the base robots. To do this:
 
-  1. Enter a Hubs room
-  2. Select the "People" list icon in the top right corner of the screen
-  3. By your name, you will see a pencil icon. Click this icon to open the avatar selection screen
-  4. Click the "Browse Avatars" button
-  5. From here, you can see a list of your own avatars, the first spot should say "Create Avatar"
-  6. In the avatar customization screen choose one of the default body shapes
-  7. Click 'Base Map' and upload an image file. If you want to design a custom texture design for the robot skin, see the details below. 
-  8. Save the avatar
+  1. Enter a Hubs room.
+  2. Select the "People" list icon in the top right corner of the screen.
+  3. By your name, you will see a pencil icon. Click this icon to open the avatar selection screen.
+  4. Click the "Browse Avatars" button.
+  5. From here, you can see a list of your own avatars, the first spot should say "Create Avatar".
+  6. In the avatar customization screen choose one of the default body shapes.
+  7. Click "Base Map" and upload an image file. If you want to design a custom texture for the robot skin, see the details below.
+  8. Save the avatar.
 
 <video autoplay loop muted controls >
   <source src="img/hubs-reskin-avatar.mp4" type="video/mp4">
@@ -38,10 +38,10 @@ For downloadable .psd files see our [advanced avatar customization](creators-adv
 
 ### Create a box bot texture
 
-The easiest way to create a new skin for a box bot is to use a Minecraft avatar building tool to create your own, or search online for creative commons Minecraft skins.
+The easiest way to create a new skin for a box bot is to use a Minecraft avatar building tool to create your own, or search online for Creative Commons Minecraft skins.
 
 ![Examples of box bots](img/box-bot-examples.jpeg)
 
 ## Advanced Avatar Customization
 
-For more on customizing Hubs avatars, such as texture maps, downloadable templates, and instructions for using your own 3D models check out the [advanced avatar customization](creators-advanced-avatar-customization.html) section of the documentation.
+For more on customizing Hubs avatars, such as texture maps, downloadable templates, and instructions for using your own 3D models, check out the [advanced avatar customization](creators-advanced-avatar-customization.html) section of the documentation.

docs/intro-events.md

@@ -4,22 +4,22 @@ title: Hosting Events in Hubs
 sidebar_label: Hosting Events in Hubs
 ---
 
-This document will talk you through the process of using Hubs for an event on [Mozilla Hubs](https://hubs.mozilla.com). We've broken this guide down into different sections that can help you get started with creating and configuring a room, choosing a custom scene, inviting people, and moderating your event. 
+This guide will talk you through the process of using Hubs for an event on [Mozilla Hubs](https://hubs.mozilla.com). We've broken this guide down into different sections that can help you get started with creating and configuring a room, choosing a custom scene, inviting people, and moderating your event. 
 
 If you're new to Mozilla Hubs, check out these getting started guides to familiarize yourself with the platform: 
 
 1. [Getting Started with Hubs](./intro-hubs.html) 
 2. [Familiarize yourself with Hubs Controls](./hubs-controls.html)
 
 ## Events in Hubs
-Hubs is a platform where you can create private rooms and meet with friends in a 3D environment online. Hubs rooms are capped at a room capacity of 24 users, but this limit can be increased to 30. Additional people can also view the room content from the room lobby. Client performance is an important consideration with Hubs, and it will vary based on the devices that your attendees are connecting with. Mobile devices (phones, standalone headsets) may have performance challenges when there are more than 10 people in an individual room.  
+Hubs is a platform where you can create private rooms and meet with friends in a 3D environment online. Hubs rooms are capped at a room capacity of 24 users, but this limit can be increased to 30. Additional people can also view and hear the room content from the room lobby. Client performance is an important consideration with Hubs, and it will vary based on the devices that your attendees are connecting with. Mobile devices (phones, standalone headsets) may have performance challenges when there are more than 10 people in an individual room.  
 
 Events in Hubs work best for meetups that are designed to have attendees engaged and participating actively with one another, or as a shared viewing environment for streamed video content. 
 
-If you are interested in hosting a large event with multiple tracks, you may be interested in exploring [Hubs Cloud](./hubs-cloud-getting-started). Hubs Cloud allows you to customize your deployment of the Hubs platform, so that you manage and maintain the system, offers configuration tools for rooms and accounts, and is better suited for larger events. For events that have larger participant interest, we recommend creating several viewing rooms and streaming the primary content to a service like [Twitch](https://twitch.tv)
+If you are interested in hosting a large event with multiple tracks, you may be interested in exploring [Hubs Cloud](./hubs-cloud-getting-started.html). Hubs Cloud allows you to customize your deployment of the Hubs platform, so that you manage and maintain the system, offers configuration tools for rooms and accounts, and is better suited for larger events. For events that have larger participant interest, we recommend creating several viewing rooms and streaming the primary content to a service like [Twitch](https://twitch.tv).
 
 ## Setting up a Room
-Your event will need a room, which can be created from the home page at [hubs.mozilla.com](https://hubs.mozilla.com). When you create a room, you are the room's "owner", which grants you full rights and permissions within the room you have created. We recommend that you log in with a Hubs account when you create rooms, since this will ensure that you are still recorded as the room owner even if you change devices. Logged-in room owners have additional configuration tools available to them that will allow for more nuanced control over how visitors can interact in the space.
+Your event will need a room, which can be created from the home page at [hubs.mozilla.com](https://hubs.mozilla.com). When you create a room, you are the room's "owner", which grants you full rights and permissions within the room you have created. We recommend that you log in with a Hubs account when you create rooms, since this will ensure that you are still recorded as the room owner even if you change devices. Logged-in room owners have additional configuration tools available to them that enable more nuanced control over how visitors can interact in the space.
 
 When you create a room as a signed-in user, you can save the room to your favorites list. Rooms that you have favorited appear on the home page when you're signed in to hubs.mozilla.com. This is a helpful way to save links to rooms that you want to return to. By default, rooms stay open until they are explicitly closed by the room owner or a moderator, and once rooms are closed, they cannot be re-opened.
 
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ When you create a room as a signed-in user, you can save the room to your favori
 You can specify whether users in the room are able to create and move objects, pin content, and draw with the pen. To set these for your Hubs room, click the menu icon, select 'Room Settings', and toggle the permissions that you want to set. By default, users can create and move objects, pin content, draw, and create cameras. Removing these permissions can help keep rooms performant, and reduces the likelihood that someone will bring content into the room that is undesirable.
 
 ## Choosing a Scene
-With Hubs, you can create your own scenes to use as the environment for your rooms. Any scene can be used to create multiple rooms, and you can [remix existing scenes that have been shared with a Creative Commons license in Spoke](./intro-spoke.html) to make edits and personalize spaces. For events, we've provided a few example scenes below to get you started. 
+With Hubs, you can create your own scenes to use as the environment for your rooms. Any scene can be used to create multiple rooms, and you can remix existing scenes that have been shared with a Creative Commons license in [Spoke](./intro-spoke.html) to make edits and personalize spaces. For events, we've provided a few example scenes below to get you started. 
 
 [Conference Room A](https://hubs.mozilla.com/scenes/GvQthTN/conference-room-a) - A smaller meeting room for professional meetings of up to ten users
 
@@ -42,26 +42,26 @@ With Hubs, you can create your own scenes to use as the environment for your roo
 
 [Conference Lobby Hall](https://hubs.mozilla.com/scenes/u3ezwKe/customizable-conference-lobby) - A large space with room to move around to different places and converse, with places to link other rooms
 
-From each of the above scene urls, you can 'Create a Room' directly from the scene page. Alternatively, you can paste the scene URL into an existing room that you have already created and [change the scene from within the room by following these steps](./hubs-room-settings.html#change-the-scene).
+From each of the above scene URLs, you can "Create a room with this scene" directly from the scene page. Alternatively, you can paste the scene URL into an existing room that you have already created and [change the scene from within the room by following these steps](./hubs-room-settings.html#change-the-scene).
 
 ## Invitations
-By default, Hubs rooms [are private, available only to people who you share the url with](https://blog.mozvr.com/creating-privacy-centric-virtual-spaces/). When planning an event with Hubs, it's important to consider who you want to invite, and only share the link with the attendees you want to have in the space with you. Keep in mind that those attendees will also be able to share the URL, so communicate whether or not how private you would like your event to remain. 
+By default, Hubs rooms [are private, available only to people who you share the URL with](https://blog.mozvr.com/creating-privacy-centric-virtual-spaces/). When planning an event with Hubs, it's important to consider who you want to invite, and only share the link with the attendees you want to have in the space with you. Keep in mind that those attendees will also be able to share the URL, so communicate whether or not how private you would like your event to remain. 
 
 ### Discord Integration
-For an additional authentication mechanic, you can use [Discord](https://discordapp.com) and our [Hubs Discord Bot](https://hubs.mozilla.com/discord) to create rooms. This will require that users are a) a member of your Discord server, b) allowed in the channel the room has been bound to and c) signed in before they can access the Hubs room. 
+For an additional authentication mechanism, you can use [Discord](https://discordapp.com) and our [Hubs Discord Bot](https://hubs.mozilla.com/discord) to create rooms. This will require that users are a) a member of your Discord server, b) allowed in the channel the room has been bound to and c) signed in before they can access the Hubs room. 
 
-Read more about the [Discord Bot](./hubs-discord-bot.html)
+Read more about the [Discord Bot](./hubs-discord-bot.html).
 
 ### Embedded Rooms
 You can also embed rooms that you own into an existing webpage via an iframe. For larger events that have multiple rooms open at the same time, it can be helpful to embed rooms into a central location to help people find occupied rooms and enter from a single location.
 
 ## Moderation & Event Controls
 If your event is semi-public or public, you should have a moderation strategy in place. The following links explain the tools that are available to you as the room creator, and how to promote trusted users in the room to also be moderators to help manage a space. Generally, for events that are open to a semi-trusted or anonymous audience, we recommend having multiple moderators to help manage the space. Please keep in mind that anyone who has access to the room link will be able to enter your room unless you have configured the Discord authentication mechanism, or are running a configured Hubs Cloud instance. 
 
-* [Promoting Room Moderators](./hubs-room-settings.html#promoting-room-moderators) 
-* [Temporarily Kick Users](./hubs-room-settings.html#kick-users)
+* [Promoting Room Moderators](./hubs-room-settings.html#promoting-room-moderators).
+* [Temporarily Kick Users](./hubs-room-settings.html#kick-users).
 
-If you are using the Discord Bot for moderation, you can remove a user permanently by revoking their Discord account from being able to access to the specific channel that is used for the Hubs room, or by removing them from your server.  
+If you are using the Discord Bot for moderation, you can remove a user permanently by revoking their Discord account from being able to access the specific channel that is used for the Hubs room, or by removing them from your Discord server.
 
 
 ### Code of Conduct

docs/intro-hubs.md

@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@ sidebar_label: Getting Started With Hubs
 ---
 
 
-In the following guide we'll show you the basics of Hubs! (prefer a video? [click here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QnOsyyebEQ))
+In the following guide we'll show you the basics of Hubs! (Prefer a video? [Click here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QnOsyyebEQ).)
 
 To get started, head to [hubs.mozilla.com](https://hubs.mozilla.com/). Make your own room by clicking “Create a Room.” 
 
@@ -19,15 +19,15 @@ To get started, head to [hubs.mozilla.com](https://hubs.mozilla.com/). Make your
 
 ## Enter the Room
 
-Before entering, you are in the room's lobby. From here, you can see what's going on inside the room but you can't interact. Entering the room can be a bit different depending on the type of device you are using.
+Before entering, you are in the room's lobby. From here, you can see and hear what's going on inside the room, and you can only interact with others using text chat. Entering the room can be a bit different depending on the type of device you are using.
 
 **On a desktop computer?** 
 
-* Click "Enter Room" and follow the prompts to select a name/avatar and enable the mic
+* Click "Enter Room" and follow the prompts to select a name/avatar and enable the mic.
 
 **On a VR headset or mobile device?** 
 
-* Take a look at the [instructions](./hubs-create-join-rooms.html#enter-the-room) in the Hubs documentation
+* Take a look at the [instructions](./hubs-create-join-rooms.html#enter-the-room) in the Hubs documentation.
 
 ## Explore Hubs
 
@@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ In Hubs you can import 3D models, images, videos and PDFs from all over the web
 
 Try searching for content in the Media Browser (the magic wand button at the top of the screen). 
 
-You can also add media or by dragging and dropping a file into the room, or by copying (ctrl+c or command+c) a URL and then pasting it in the room (ctrl+v or command+v).
+You can also add media by dragging and dropping a file into the room, or by copying (ctrl+c or command+c) a URL and then pasting it in the room (ctrl+v or command+v).
 
 <video autoplay loop muted controls >
   <source src="img/object-creation.mp4" type="video/mp4">
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ You can also add media or by dragging and dropping a file into the room, or by c
 
 Additional controls for objects, videos, and drawings can be found in their object menus.
 
-To reveal these controls, hover your cursor over the object and press the space bar or tab key on Desktop. 
+To reveal these controls, hover your cursor over the object and press the space bar or tab key on desktop. 
 
 For VR and mobile controls see our complete list of [Hubs Controls](hubs-controls.html). 
 
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ If you are a room owner or moderator you will have extra permissions, like being
 
 You can change your scene to suit the mood of your event. There are lots of environments to choose from in our scene database, or you can create your own custom worlds using our scene editor [Spoke](intro-spoke.html). Explore the scene browser by opening the dropdown menu and selecting Choose a Scene.
 
-Note, only room moderators can change the scene. You also need to be sign in using your email address. Logging in is not required to use Hubs but comes with other benefits such as being able to save favorite rooms, and upload custom avatars. All we need is an email address to authenticate your account - no additional information is required.   
+Note, only room moderators can change the scene. You also need to be signed in using your email address. Logging in is not required to use Hubs but doing so provides benefits such as being able to save favorite rooms, and upload custom avatars. All we need is an email address to authenticate your account &mdash; no additional information is required.   
 
 <video autoplay loop muted controls >
   <source src="img/change-the-scene.mp4" type="video/mp4">
@@ -93,6 +93,6 @@ When you are ready to invite others click the "Share" button at the top of your
 ![Screenshot of the Share pop-up](img/intro-hubs-share-popup-min.jpeg)
 
 ## Next Steps
-This is just a quick overview of some of Hubs' basic features. For a detailed overview of what you can do in Hubs check out [Hubs Features](hubs-create-join-rooms.html) in the documentation.
+This was just a quick overview of some of Hubs' basic features. For a detailed overview of what you can do in Hubs check out [Hubs Features](hubs-features.html) in the documentation.
 
 

docs/intro-spoke.md

@@ -6,28 +6,28 @@ sidebar_label: Building Scenes with Spoke
 
 Want to build custom VR worlds for Hubs? Meet [Spoke](https://hubs.mozilla.com/spoke)! 👋
 
-Spoke is an online 3D scene editor developed by the Mozilla Mixed Reality team. With Spoke, you can build environments using 3D models, architecture kit pieces, lights, images, videos, and more. Once your scene is ready, you can upload it to Hubs, or export it as a .glTF 3D model.
+Spoke is an online 3D scene editor developed by the Mozilla Mixed Reality team. With Spoke, you can build environments using 3D models, architecture kit pieces, lights, images, videos, and more. Once your scene is ready, you can upload it to Hubs, or export it as a glTF 3D model.
 
 <video autoplay loop muted controls >
   <source src="img/architecture-kit.mp4" type="video/mp4">
 </video>
 
 ### ✏️ Create
 
-No external software or 3D modeling experience required - build 3D scenes using the Spoke web editor so you can have a space that's entirely custom to your needs. From a board room to outer space and beyond, your space is in your control.
+No external software or 3D modeling experience required &mdash; build 3D scenes using the Spoke web editor so you can have a space that's entirely custom to your needs. From a board room to outer space and beyond, your space is in your control.
 
 ### 🔭 Discover
 
 Explore images, videos, and 3D models from around the web, all without opening up a new tab. With media integrations from Sketchfab and Google Poly, you'll be on your way to creating a scene in no time.
 
 ### 🎉 Share
 
-Invite people to meet in your new space by publishing your content to Hubs immediately. With just a few clicks, you'll have a world of your own to experience and share - all from your browser.
+Invite people to meet in your new space by publishing your content to Hubs immediately. With just a few clicks, you'll have a world of your own to experience and share &mdash; all from your browser.
 
 
 ![Screenshot of Spoke](img/intro-spoke-screenshot-min.jpeg)
 
 
 ## Getting started 
 
-To build your first custom 3D environments check out Spoke's [interactive tutorial](https://hubs.mozilla.com/spoke/projects/tutorial) or take a look at the [Spoke documentation](./spoke-creating-projects).
+To build your first custom 3D environments check out Spoke's [interactive tutorial](https://hubs.mozilla.com/spoke/projects/tutorial) or take a look at the [Spoke documentation](./spoke-creating-projects.html).